Wednesday, March 31, 2004

Have Bruderschaft's "Forever" running through my head:

I have not abandoned hope, though I know there's nothing more.
Tired and alone, you forget what you had hoped for.


...

I will walk this ground forever
and stand guard against your name.
I will give all I can offer,
I will shoulder all the blame.
I am sentry to you now,
all your hopes and all your dreams.
I will hold you to the light,
that's what forever means.

Tuesday, March 30, 2004

I am so tired. I wish I could sleep. But my night is full of tossing, and turning, and thinking, and crying, and berating myself, and staring at the clock. *sigh* I need something to shut my brain up.

Monday, March 29, 2004

They say everything happens for a reason, but I wish I understood. It's true that my life has changed a lot for the better in the last few weeks, but I can't help but feel that there is something missing. Someone with whom to share it. And the things that have finally gone right, probably would have anyway...so why did it have to be like this?

Sunday, March 28, 2004

Today is a quiet day. I had planned on working on some craft stuff, but I was doing one of my little Christmas ornaments, and after having to pick out and redo about half of the design twice, I figured that maybe my head is just not in it. I obviously have counting issues today; maybe I'm still a little tired.

Saturday, March 27, 2004

I asked myself "was I content,"
with the world that I once cherished?
did it bring me to this darkened place
to comtemplate my perfect future
I will not stand nor utter words against
this tide of hate
losing sight of what and who I was again

I'm so sorry if these seething words I say
impress on you
that I've become the anathema of my soul

I can't say that you're losing me.
I always tried to keep myself tied to this world
but I know where this is leading
please, no tears
no sympathy

I can't say that you're losing me
but I must be that which I am
though I know where this could take me
no tears
no sympathy

gracefully
respectfully
facing conflict deep inside myself
but here confined
losing control of what I could not change

gracefully
respectfully
I ask you "Please don't worry,"
not for me
don't turn your back
don't turn away

-"Epicentre" by VNV Nation

Wednesday, March 24, 2004

I've come to understand that bliss
Is quite impossible and if
I'll ever find a way
I'll claim another life

I've come to understand that kiss
Was quite impossible and if
I'll ever find a way
I'll halt the turn of time...
Goddamn
The torpedoes
it's time to run away with the sideshow
Full speed
Right ahead
Don't stop
You can sleep when you're dead

Monday, March 22, 2004

Work doesn't have to suck.

I just got home from work, and I actually feel energized, instead of exhausted. Go figure.

Wednesday, March 17, 2004

Today's horoscope:

You are sociable and entertaining.

Who? Me? Nah...you must mean someone else. Sociable, entertaining...right.

Sunday, March 14, 2004

From my fortune advice cookie:

"Never trouble trouble till trouble troubles you."

Friday, March 12, 2004

William Goldman wrote:
Life is pain...anybody that says different is selling something.

Variation on a theme:
Life is stress...anybody that says different, I want some of what they're taking.

Thursday, March 11, 2004

Someone was singing this at work today, and it got stuck in my head.

"Everybody knows that the world is full of stupid people..."

Anybody else working in the customer service field will be able to testify to this fact.

Wednesday, March 10, 2004

Motto for customer service professionals:

When in doubt, make stuff up.

Tuesday, March 09, 2004

Thursday, March 04, 2004

This job
is a test

It is only a test

If this were an actual job,
there would be
bonuses, raises and promotions.

This is only a test.