Wednesday, August 31, 2005

I started working on this little handbag in July. I've been finished with the knitting part for some time, but actually had to drag out my new sewing machine to sew a lining for it. I was excited to use the sewing machine for the first time (not the least of my excitement had to do with the fact that this bargain purchase actually worked). I sewed the lining in by hand, and then realized that the handles, which I had taken off of another bag which I was throwing out some time ago, needed be to put on before the lining. Ripped the lining out, attached the handles, and sewed the lining back in. Upon further reflection, I should either have gotten smaller handles, or made the bag bigger, but in any case...here's the finished product:

Grape purse

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

In the Light of Day

I just want to feel things like you
Then I could know how to love you.
If I could just see inside your head
I would know who to be instead.

But it wouldn't be me.
It wouldn't be me.
But just a word from you would change me

If I could just peel the skin from you,
Then I would know how to touch you.
Give you my hands like lovers do.
I would know where to lead you.

But would you ever come with me?
Would you ever come with me?
I couldn't take your hand and lead you nowhere.

Inside, nothing stays the same.
It's like a race to the one who takes the blame.
In your eyes, I see the lies unfold.
That's not the way that the story's meant to go.

If I could be there to pull you through,
You could use your nails to save you.
If I could be the one who really knew,
The one you need to tell your secrets to.

Do you feel but resist?
Do you feel but resist?
Do you know I exist?
Could you ever want me like this?

Inside, nothing stays the same.
It's like a race to the one who takes the blame.
In your eyes, I see the lies unfold.
That's not the way that the story's meant to go.

In the dark, it's right,
In the dead of night,
But it spills away,
In the light of day

-Mesh

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

This post is all about my yarn. If you don't care about my yarn, then this is not the post you are looking for. I suggest you skip it and move on, safe in the knowledge that your regularly scheduled whine-a-thon will continue shortly.

So, I went to the UPS center today to pick up the yarn the the guy from Caron had offered to send to me. When I spoke to him at the trade show, he said he'd send "a couple of skeins". I put down 2 color choices, in case for some reason they should be out of one. I clearly marked them as 1st and 2nd choice. I expected to get 1, or maybe 2 skeins of one color, enough to make a scarf or something. When I picked up the box today, there were 9 skeins of each color inside. Now I have to figure out what to make with it.

Because I was still driving around with the yarn I bought from geekpixie, as well as some cotton ease and other stuff I had bought at various points on sale, my yarn drawers needed a little better organization. I took all of the yarn out, and sorted it more or less by type. Now, with the exception of the single skeins of acrylics, and leftovers of various sorts, all of my yarn fits into the yarn storage unit.

yarn

Yarn

Monday, August 08, 2005

I've been something of a slacker lately...at least when it comes to writing. It's not that I haven't been doing anything, but I guess I haven't much felt like writing about it.

So, some of the exciting things I have been doing lately include:
Numerous trips to the club for fun and flailing,
An expedition to Mount Greylock,
Another weekend in NH,
A business trip to CA and Chicago,
An outing to Salem,
and A trip to the zoo.

I've also spent a good portion of my time working on my knitting. I've taught myself how to do entrelac, have played with dyeing yarn, and have made another fingerless mitten (though I have yet to make its mate). I am probably going to do some lace work, and start a sweater as my next projects. I have a completely unreasonable amount of yarn.

Additionally, I've been reading more lately. I had definitely slacked off on this respect for some time, and have been making a conscious effort to read some of the books that have been waiting for me. In that spirit, I have read several books in the last 2 months:
The Plague Tales and The Burning Road by Ann Benson
Shade's Children by Garth Nix
Madame de Treymes and Others by Edith Wharton
Secrets & Confidances edited by Karen Eng
Mirror Mirror by Gregory Maguire
The Whole by John Reed
Sloppy Seconds by Megan McCafferty

I get a lot more reading done when I am suffering from insomnia.

Otherwise, not a whole lot of interesting developments. I seem to have suddenly development feminine wiles, but am not totally comfortable (or experienced) in using them. However, I managed to score a free upgrade to Mustang convertible, when renting a car, got some free yarn and knitting needles at a trade show, and actually spoke to a member of the opposite sex at the club. 'Course, I haven't mastered the whole dancing-with-someone-else thing, and lost the boy during my flailing...but still, it's a start. Being single might have been great 10 years ago, but it's getting a little old now (like me, ha ha). It sucks that the people I have been interested in generally turn out to be assholes. I don't want another relationship where the person who was supposed to love me was embarrassed to be seen in public with me. I'm finally starting to be comfortable with who I am, and what I look like, and I'd like the person I'm with to be the same. It's at least nice that people have been noticing me, flattering, even when I'm not interested. But it's even more nice to be interested, and so far, whatever thing it is that makes me notice someone, hasn't happened...or at least not with someone who seemed to be noticing me back. There's a sort of trend in the people that seem to find me attractive: they are already dating someone else, are female, or are just completely unattractive to me. I'm starting to think that this is the universe's way of telling me that I should either a) learn to share, b) be a lesbian, or c) be less picky. Frankly, I am tired of being alone, but none of these options seem that good to me. I don't want to settle. I know too many people who have done that, and it breaks my hear to see them trying to convince themselves and others that they are happy with the fake life they have made for themselves.

...Well, that went somewhere I didn't intend when I started writing, however, I'm not going to delete it, as much as part of me thinks I should.

In other news, I have been looking for a new job. Although I love the "work" part of my job, the people leave something to be desired. That's not true. Some of the people leave something to be desired. Some of them are great. I really like at least 3 of the people with whom I work. The rest of them? Well....
At least part of my decision is monetarily based. As much as I hate to admit it, I have materialistic needs, and the current position is just not supporting them. I don't live extravagently...but it shouldn't strain my budget to go out to a club once a week, see a movie once in a while, go out to dinner, or buy a friend a birthday present. As it is, sometimes I can't afford to eat, not that I miss it, since I am a mass of anxiety-induced stomach problems. Too often, lately, my friends have bought me dinner, or paid for a movie, or whatever...and I am wracked with guilt because I have absolutely no hope of paying them back. I have great friends. They know that I am in a bad place right now, and are quick to reassure me that it's okay. But I still feel like a shit. I have an offer to go to dinner tomorrow night with a friend I haven't seen in months, and I don't want to say no...but my stomach knots up when I start to wonder how I am going to pay for a dinner.

So...life has it's ups and downs...as always. I have had some fun, and some less fun times. But I keep chugging away, always hopeful (stupidly perhaps) that tomorrow will be a better day.

Though it would probably help if I got some sleep.

Monday, August 01, 2005

So, last week, I started experimenting with Entrelac. I used some acrylic yarn I had leftover from another project as a test of the pattern. It came out pretty funky, and I think I am going to make a pillow out of it. I'll post pictures once that is done. In the meantime, here are some pics of a scarf I am working on with an alpaca/wool blend yarn that I dyed myself. I am such a dork.

Entrelac wip


Also, I forgot to mention that geekpixie and I had a yarn-for-money exchange which I think worked out very well for both of us. I am very much looking forward to making a sweater with the bottle green patons classic wool. =)

And, continuing on my yarn entry: I received an e-mail today from the guy at Caron yarns that I spoke to at the trade show. My sample skeins of yarn are on their way to me. Rock on! Free yarn!

Tonight's plans: clean room to make space for yarn.